Innovative Project Management Methodology Uses Sock Puppets For Giving Bad News To Customers

COPENHAGEN — Stardust Management Consulting (NASDAQ: SMC) has unveiled a new patent-pending methodology that showcases the use of sock puppets as the main vessels to convey unpleasant news or updates to customers. “Our method reduces by 17% the chances of contractors being sued by their customers,” stated Alicia Rockfield, CEO at SMC. “One client used our proprietary sock puppet called Mr. Peanut to tell their customer that the project was delayed by three years, and the customer took the news way better compared to how things would’ve gone if a Project Manager was sent to convey the news. For the record, the same client tried before without sock puppets and it ended with a chair broken on the Project Manager’s back, spaghetti-western style” said Mrs. Rockfield. Ronald Starr, Chief Strategy Officer (CSO) at Stardust elaborated, stating that “having the puppets singing lullabies has proved to be a great addition to the methodology”. SMC agreed to share an extract of their award-winning, proprietary lullaby song called “Yet another cost overrun, what can you do?”:

Another cost overrun,
That you will have to pay,
We creep the features,
If your wallet is okay.

In a happy world,
Bugs do not exist,
But this is reality,
We need another year

Mrs Rockfield revealed that SMC is working on the next-generation technique which will include a ventriloquist doll called Senorita Gantt, noting that “it is as critical design stage”.