Space Startup Stalls After Last Non-Manager Employee Gets Promoted

FRANKFURT — Dragon Space Robotics, a Berlin-based startup planning to offer autonomous robotic vacuum cleaners—i.e., Roombas—for space stations, has suddenly reached a point of minimal internal energy after the last employee who was not a manager—a person called Peter, according to sources related to the matter—was promoted to a managing position, leaving the company in a state of analysis paralysis where strategizing has become a full-time, company-wide endeavor while no one is designing or building the product anymore. “We’re a bit stationary at the moment” admitted Dieter Schumpeter, Dragon’s CEO, when approached by the Inquirer. “All we do nowadays is having retrospectives, 360-degrees sessions and adopting more new methodologies, but no one seems to be working on prototypes, or software, or researching how dust settles in microgravity”, he added.
At press time, Mr. Schumpeter commented DSR had already hired McKinsey to help resolve the situation.