Forecasters: “Pay Us More If You Want Higher CAGRs”

SAN FRANCISCO — A recent decrease in gloriousness of Compound Annual Growth Rates (CAGR) has affected fundraising activities across the space sector, causing billions of dollars to stay in investors’ pockets while leaving founders frustrated and helpless when attempting to secure capital.
A general ‘yawn’ has been perceived from the VC side during pitches in the last several months, which has been attributed to forecasters purposely toning down the figures with a lurking intention to get a fairer share of the pie in exchange for the pompous numbers they provide for slides. “We will not give any more bombastic CAGRs if we are not paid accordingly” said the General Director of a renowned market forecasting agency famously known for causing an Acute Myocardial Infarction to a senior investor from Silicon Valley more than a decade ago with a market growth rate which was—sources say—amazeballs.

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